Your Monday mote

How to write without actually writing

Photo by Mikhail Vasilyev on Unsplash

(Also known as the mostly essential, and sometimes humorous, habits of a writer).

Writing a book is not for the faint-hearted. I said to a friend recently that if the novel I was working on was a screenplay, I’d be on draft 12 by now, and ready to submit to various comps and agents.

A novel is a whole different beast. I’m currently at 30,000 words, which is not to be sniffed at, but I’ve noticed some of the most absurd rituals that seem to have blossomed along with my word count. They are the tools I use and make up a large part of my procrasti-writing process™.

So today, dear reader, I graciously share them with you.

Pacing the room (or walking, in general)

Deep in thought, it’s as if the walls hold the secret to your story, and by walking back and forth, you’re somehow coaxing the action out. Just make sure you don’t trip over the cat or whatever might be in your way (your ego, arf!). The added benefit is that it increases your step count so that your smartwatch stops screaming at you.

Dancing around the house

You can’t beat a spontaneous dance party. I’ve created a specific playlist for my novel and will often rise from my desk and throw some TLC/Spice Girls-type shapes just for my own amusement. The book I’m writing is Nineties-centric, so as you can imagine, I’m having a lot of fun with the music and the moves. Top tip, keep some Deep Heat nearby because if you’re over 40, those ‘shapes’ often involve dislocating a limb.

Chewing the end of your pen

Classic move. This all-time favourite throwback looks to the outside world like you’ve tuned out, or dissociated as the kids say today, but in fact, this pen-chewing void can nudge grandiose ideas to the fore. This is more difficult with a fountain pen, so I advise keeping a Bic on your desk or in your bag, for spontaneous chewable moments.

Staring out of the window

Other known as the ‘dreamy detour’. I don’t know what the secret sauce is but the simple window stare does wonders. You might find yourself pondering life’s mysteries or getting lost in the antics of Marge from next door trimming her hedge. Just don’t forget to eventually return to your manuscript because at some point, you will have to get back to work.

Snack attack!

You know me, I love a snack. I ask the writers I interview what their writing snack of choice is. If I had my way, every sentence written would end with a snack. Snacks are life! Top tip, keep them away from your keyboard. Ritz crackers can be unforgiving to the F key. Other than that, go mad. Cheese and crackers, a cheeky digestive, some kind of weird compote, the humble banana, a slice of last night’s pizza, or a bag of Quavers, will always help grease the wheels of creativity. One life to live and all that.

Rearranging your drawers/cleaning the fridge

Any job around the house that you’ve been putting off doing will suddenly become HIGH PRIORITY once you start writing a novel. Go with it. Why? Two reasons, your drawers probably need a clear out and two, once you’re not thinking about writing you actually are. Mid sock-pairing, I guarantee you’ll think of a genius story beat and have to rush back to your desk to write it down, leaving a pile of odd socks for you to deal with at 11pm.

Lying on the floor groaning

This could just be me but sometimes I find that saying ‘peace out’ and submitting to gravity is just the ticket. The relief of not staring at a screen but the ceiling is palpable. At this time of year, you can also fling yourself onto grass and stare at the sky. The genius here is that there’s only so long you can do this particular activity. The cat/dog will get worried for a start. After a while, you’ll want to get up and write because floors are uncomfortable and you’ll feel like an idiot.

So, there you have it. Embrace the quirky habits that keep you inspired on your writing journey, and if you’re looking to procrasti-write™ further, let me know what your non-writing writing habits are.

Have a great week!

Lisa