Does anybody else feel guilty reading when they think they should be writing?
I spent time recently going through a gargantuan pile of unread books, wondering what I should read next. My TBR pile is almost up the ceiling. In fact, there are so many books in one, it’s positively Tower of Pisa-esque. At some point I need to start making inroads.
But here's the thing, I'm writing my first novel and every time I go to pick up a book, I get an overwhelming feeling that I'm wasting my time. That writing is somehow more important than reading.
It’s become a real push-pull, and the push to not read has been overwhelming. Partly, I think it’s because a small part of me doesn’t want to be influenced by anyone else and is scared to enjoy their work.
That being said, I understand there's a balance to be had. For a start, it’s useful to know the market you’re writing for. A couple of weeks ago, I picked up a collection of best-selling contemporary novels, all featuring a humorous slant, for that very reason.
And it's not just the research, it's also vital in terms of self-care because what could be more relaxing after a frantic week, than lolling around the house with a good book?
So I've got all these wonderful shiny new tomes but haven’t started any of them because every time I do, I spiral. Then I check myself and pivot to the thought that I need to read, at which point, the two thoughts cancel each other out and so I just sit there in a kind of weird paralysis.
I mentioned this dilemma on social media and an author who follows me said she used to feel the same way but now thinks of it in terms of a wine seller, who never drinks their wine. How will they know what is good, if they don’t sample their wares?
Bingpot! That may have unblocked me. Untested, as yet but at the next opportunity, I will pour myself a cheeky wine, or Port as is my current wont, and open one of the books. I’m not saying the guilt will completely dissipate but her words have helped.
Yes, time is of the essence, and I’ve set myself a deadline for my first draft, but I also need to ensure my brain doesn’t cave in on itself from over-exertion.
I need reading time to fuel writing time.
What are your thoughts? Do share.
Lisa
Reading as you know is Never a waste of time. I have less time to read now w/ research and writing for SubS and reading other Stacks but am making a concerted effort, like you, to wade back in. I think it is really important and then when I find a book I like, I feel so gratified! Reading Richard Powers' latest, Playground, and as always - he NEVER disappoints. He's so incredible, timely and also a great storyteller. Good luck w/ your new writing venture!
I have to read while I’m writing. Otherwise I’d end up too imprisoned in my own crazy world. Other writing is as essential as music. And tea. X